To Enjoy Life Fully

What does it mean to enjoy life? To really LIVE in it, experience it fully and at the end, not regret the things you blew right by hardly noticing them at all?

When was the last time you went to your favorite food or drink place, ordered the thing you most enjoy, sit down to consume it and suddenly realize that you are on your last bite/sip and you are wondering why it happened so quickly? Think about it. Often, the first taste is divine. Maybe the second. But by the time you've reached the point of scraping the plate, you are long since on to the next thing in your mind. Or, on the other hand, you are regretting that it’s gone already and wishing for more, when what you had was more than enough to satisfy the body.

I find this sort of thing happens every day, in every area of life. I want to do a thing, I set out to do it, and while I’m doing it, my mind is on a hundred other things. Often, my mind is criticizing me for not attending properly to many of those things.

Today, I determined to sit down with my breakfast and REALLY experience the enjoyment of it. I served myself yogurt mixed with nuts, berries, chia and granola. I had to intentionally decide that I would not look at my phone, listen to a book, podcast or music and simply eat and be present in the eating.

As I took my first bite, my mind immediately drifted to the tasks ahead of me. I noticed this distraction and brought myself back to the bite in my mouth. I had recently bitten into a raspberry and while it had the normal flavor explosion, I had mostly missed it because of the thinking.

I tried again, redirecting my attention. I tasted the initial flavors and textures, but quickly, thought I ought to take a photo of the beautiful bowl. This isn’t bad, or a bad idea. It’s a good way to appreciate the food I was eating also, but in doing so, I missed the flavors in my mouth once again. I redirect and try again. All the while, I am not criticizing myself for this distraction, simply noticing it without judgement. This time, a berry bursts in my mouth and I am captured by it’s sweet, juicy nature and how that spreads throughout the rest of the bite. Yay, I was able to notice my food.

I take another bite and immediately my mind wonders again to the tasks.

And so it goes for the entirety of the bowl. There were points in my practice where I noticed the wonderful flavor that the granola lent my meal, as well as the pecans. But what I noticed most often, was how much my mind wondered throughout the process. I easily lost focused 20 times over the course of my bowl. I noticed how difficult it is to truly be present in the thing I am actually doing. And I noticed that in the moments I was present, the experience of eating my breakfast was very pleasant indeed. 

It put me in mind of why in monasteries, there is often a practice of silence. This is because, unless you set an intention to be engaged in conversation, conversation often distracts you from whatever other activity you are attempting. Sharing a meal? I can’t focus on words and flavors at the same time. I just can’t. Not fully.

Hiking with a partner? I miss the beauty of the mountain I am traversing to listen to my friend. Or, I pay attention to the beauty and miss my friend's heartfelt sharing. I feel rude if I stop to snap a photo or just be silent in the presence of the water cascading from a high rock cleft because I am meant to be spending time with my friend.

So, I will keep practicing daily in order to learn how to be aware and engaged with what it is I am doing. If I set my intention to think of how to solve problem x, great, then that is what I will do. And I will notice when my mind has been pulled away for the 32^nd time and return it to the matter at hand.

And I will enjoy my life and the moments I have been given.